Wrangling four kids under four – three of them identical triplets

It went from nothing happening at 8am to 18 people in the operating theatre by the afternoon. The babies were so small when they came out – just slightly bigger than an iPhone. Leo weighed 1006 grams, Harrison 850 and Archer 846. They were in the NICU [neo-natal intensive care unit] at Westmead for months. Kate is a strong person, but she did lose it at times. So did I.

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We’ve had a lot of help from our families and I’m sure we have amnesia about how hard it was at the start. But Kate and I both have this attitude … as soon as the sun rises, it’s a new day, no matter how bad the day before was.

We also believe that she and I have to come first in the family dynamic: we take the time to make sure our relationship is solid. It’s that plane analogy about putting your own mask on first, so you’re in a position to help others. Having the boys in a good sleep routine – the little guys are in bed by 6.30, Zach by 8 – means we can have dinner together every night, just us two, and time to ourselves. Even if she comes home later and I’ve already eaten, I’ll join her so we can have a chat and check in.

From very early on, I knew Kate was the one, with everything I needed in a partner: she’s someone who takes joy in life. I wanted to have a lot of kids and so did she. Funnily enough, I always wanted four and she only ever wanted three, so this is kind of perfect for me.

Kate: I’d known Jack a bit through mutual friends and I’d gone to a few parties at his house. Turns out we had also gone to pre-school together.

We had a really great friendship for a long time before we started going out. After we’d been dating for a while without having put a label on it, he planned an actual day to make it official. He’s quite the romantic. When we got engaged, he also asked my dad if it was okay.

“It’s funny but one of the first things I thought about was all the hours we’d have to do for their driving licences!”

I couldn’t imagine doing this crazy journey with anyone else. I’ve heard of cases where, as soon as a partner heard there were triplets, they were out of there. Jack was the opposite.

When they first told us, I basically broke down, but Jack was so excited and supportive. He’d always wanted four kids. On the way home, we talked about all the things that would have to change. It’s funny but one of the first things I thought about was all the hours we’d have to do for their driving licences!

With the kids, Jack has always known exactly what to do – and he doesn’t let circumstances stand in his way. He wants the boys to have the same experiences Zach had. We’ve always enjoyed camping so we’ve done that with the triplets as well. For Jacko, nothing is too hard. It’s like, “What’s the problem? Let’s just do it. If we don’t try, we don’t know.” It’s great because I’m someone who would sit back and over-analyse. He’s also very calming.

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When the boys were in hospital – Leo and Harrison were there for about three months, and Archer for five – Jack was still running the practice and his golf business [golf biomechanics sessions], looking after Zach, and coming in every day. He was taking charge of our lives so that I didn’t have to stress while I was pumping the milk and dealing with everything else.

There were some very emotional times. On the day Harrison came home, we found out Archer needed a heart operation. We sat in the car and just hugged each other and had a cry.

There has always been a lot of fun in our relationship. Jacko is a big trickster and very good at practical jokes. He used to do this thing of scaring me, in a funny way. He’d come home from soccer training, for example, sneak in and then jump out at me. Since the boys came along, he has settled down a bit, but I miss it. Childish, I know.

He’s too good to be true, really. He does do the classic thing of leaving the toilet seat up, but I’ve come to terms with being outnumbered in a house full of boys. A lot of people say to us, “Are you going to try for a girl?” No, I think we’re done.

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