The life lesson I’m taking away from the COVID-19 pandemic

A few weeks ago, before the latest Sydney lockdown, I went out to dinner with a friend. Not just any friend. She is a woman I first met when we were both aged six and my family moved into the house across the road.

We had recently migrated to Australia from the north of England. She is, obviously, my oldest friend. We might not see each other for years at a time but, whenever we do, we pick up just where we left off. Yet she is very different from me. She’s an old hippie (I was always far too pragmatic for that) and an anti-vaxxer (a subject we studiously avoid) but our shared history outweighs those differences, even during COVID-19.

Joining us was another old friend from primary school and his wife. He is a successful family law practitioner and, while we agree on most things (we are both made equally uncomfortable by our hippie friend’s anti-vax views, for example), I suspect he thinks my feminism goes too far. Nevertheless, we get on very well and always enjoy each other’s company.

As we shared good food, wine and conversation, I took a moment to think how far all of us had come since we first shared an overcrowded classroom at Frenchs Forest Public School at the height of the baby boom in the mid-1960s. I felt so grateful for them both and the decades we have shared with one another.

I am not usually so reflective, yet I have found myself having more such moments of gratitude recently. Is this a positive effect of this weird COVID world we now occupy? Or is it something to do with the unexpected gifts that accompany getting older? Or a combination of both? I don’t know.

What I am sure about is how the tenor of my friendships have changed in the past year and a half, particularly with my old friends. Such friendships seem to have gained a deeper sense of calm and acceptance. None of us are perfect. Some of us have had an easier ride through life than others. But so what? When you reach the (hopefully) safe harbour of your 60s, when the pattern of your life is more or less set, for better or for worse, perhaps the last small whiff of rivalry evaporates.

It wasn’t always so. Many of my friendships were very competitive when I was younger. We competed over who was the coolest (my hippie friend was much cooler than me back in the day), who had the best-looking boyfriend and, occasionally, who got better marks. I recall going to my 20-year high school reunion (we’re approaching our 50th now) and hating it. Everyone was comparing how big their houses were and how much they earned. No more. We seem to have finally accepted ourselves as we are. Maybe that is to do with reaching our 60s.

Maybe COVID has helped many of us – not just those of us who are growing old – to reassess our priorities and to stop chasing false gods.

Or maybe there is more to it than that. Maybe COVID has helped many of us – not just those of us who are growing old – to reassess our priorities and to stop chasing false gods. Many people have had to accept a smaller income and a check to their ambitions, and we’ve all had to accept more realistic and achievable goals. No one’s life is as glamorous as it once was. No longer do we boast about travelling to exotic places on social media (I was once a serial offender). These days, a trip to Orange or Bendigo would be greeted with excitement and enthusiasm! And again, for many of us, we find that just having enough toilet paper in the cupboard is cause for celebration.