Schizophrenia is not a crime, so why was my brother treated like a criminal?

My mother says she believes schizophrenia is the mind’s way of protecting itself; by crafting paranoias and hallucinatory scenarios, the brain protects itself against the possibility of further harm. I don’t know where my family’s history of psychotic illness comes from. What I do know is that I wish it didn’t always feel so lonely.

I still get messages from my dad’s old friends, saying they miss him. And yet, I have never met most of these people. My mother has a few long-term friends she can rely on – many who have stuck around are also people who have schizophrenia. In the past couple of years, many of the people who were friends with my younger brother, who is in his early 20s, have dropped off.

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Now on antipsychotics, my brother spends most of his time in bed. Because of side effects such as lethargy, as well as his asthma, he finds it difficult to do things as he did before. There are days when he feels more himself. I have never felt unsafe around him, and I rarely feel like the carer in our sibling relationship. He cooks me meals when I’m working. He does laundry and takes the dog for a walk.

When our mum was kicked out of her flat, he bought her white goods. During the COVID-19 lockdowns, we had Zoom calls together where he would fall asleep while we played word games. Now, he falls asleep with Rubik’s Cubes beside his bed. When he isn’t studying for his university degree, a unit on data handling and statistics, he is usually watching YouTubers play chess or Minecraft. He draws funny pictures and writes poems and plays Scrabble with our mother and orders too much takeout. He is getting on with his life.

It is my hope that he gets on with that life in a world that perhaps understands him more. That’s why I’m writing this. I love him. I hope life does too, and I hope we can see this condition for what it is, rather than a projection of our worst fears.

Zowie Douglas-Kinghorn is a freelance writer.

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