Regain control and make Christmas like a brandy snap – short and sweet

But the responsibility of creating the sparkle eventually made me frazzled. Silently resentful. Slavishly homemaking everything, inviting dozens for lunch, spending crazy amounts. Keenly aware the camaraderie and glistening meats represented in Christmas ads reinforce for many what they don’t have this time of year: peace, prosperity, people.

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So. Sick of stress and diminishing reward for effort (apart from awesome cold cuts for a week), I’m trialling the notion that some customs are holding us hostage. And it’s time to take back control.

Gone is the thirsty, shedding real tree, replaced by a kitsch pink affair from Spotlight (which I semi-hate but don’t have to think about.) Gone are gifts for all, replaced by a $100 Kris Kringle. Gone is lunch, replaced by a Christmas Eve sleepover. We’re having a sort of Triwizard tournament, with boogie boarding, a whack at the driving range, a deck disco and no food bar ham, potato salad and Aldi brandy snaps.

Gone is the mad dashing about to multiple destinations. Gone also is Jesus, a personal choice. This Christmas Day will be spent lying down. Me, my husband, the new Garry Disher book I bought myself, a 1pm Pasito mojito.

My plan? To find authenticity by dropping expectations, changing dull dynamics, keeping the extravaganza short and sweet. By – as US podcast host Mel Robbins put it – pulling up “in the fricking fun bus”. By opening hearts and arms instead of a tonne of presents. I wish you all the same things. Merry Christmas, gorgeous people, however you do it.

Kate Halfpenny is the founder of Bad Mother Media.