Pooja Chopra, her mom recall their relatives’ comments before Miss India 2009: ‘You allow her to pose naked for money’

Pooja Chopra bagged the Miss India title in 2009 and has worked in films such as Aiyaary and Jahan Chaar Yaar. When she was just 20 days old, her mom Neera Chopra had to walk out of her father’s house as Pooja was the second daughter and he wanted a son. In this exclusive interview, Pooja and her mom recall the tough times. (Also Read | Pooja Chopra says she hated her mom for going to work, changes narrative from ‘abandoned by father’ to ‘chosen by mom’)

Pooja has often said that her father asked her mom to choose between him, and the daughters. Asked if she ever talked to her mom about being abandoned, or how her mother braved it all, Pooja said, “I never talked to her about it. The only reason my mom now talks about it is that it inspires others. As a child, I knew what Mum was going through and I was sensitive toward what she felt, never wanted her to feel bad. My sister (Shubhra Chopra) was equally sensitive and we were cautious not to share anything with mom that would hurt her.”

Asked how she kept going on despite all odds against her, Neera Chopra said, “To put it bluntly, I had two young and innocent faces, relying upon me. Of course, there were so many times I felt weak, and thought ‘I cannot endure anymore’. But then I thought, ‘Why must I punish these innocent kids? Who will take care of them if I am gone?’ That is what really kept me going.” She added that there were many times they had to skip meals for the lack of resources, but they always shared whatever little they had, “till the time she became Miss India.”

She added she did all she could to save her marriage, but was not ready to be with a man who wanted to chuck her out just because she gave birth to their second daughter. “I remember clearly that I told him ‘You kick me out of the house for this girl, she will be the one who makes me proud.’ And she did!”

Pooja revealed that she would often tell friends that her dad was in Dubai when she was in school. In college, she started saying the parents were separated, and it was only much later that they started talking about the real details. “My mom was told ‘ye kya parcel le ke aai hai, fek k (What are these two parcels – two daughters – that you have brought? Throw them away and) sit outside his house. Then you will get back your family.”

Pooja said had her father been around, she may not have achieved what she managed to. Recalling how their relatives would taunt the mother-daughter trio, Pooja said, “I did what I could only because I have a strong mom around me. She let me do what I wanted to do. I had an encouraging sister who pushed me to excel. She was an average student but she would push me to model and encourage me to improve my grades. I won Miss Mount Carmel and in college, I did fashion shows and ads. I was kind of a star in college. It was quite an ego boost for a 12th-standard student. In all those local pageants, there used to be a swimsuit round and all of us posed with sarongs.”

“So our relatives would tell mom ‘ladki ko nangi ghuma rahi hai, ye dekh kaise kapdo me khadi hai (You are letting your daughter roam around naked). It was 15 girls in swimsuits on the front page, wearing sarongs and it said ‘These are top 15 girls selected for Miss Pune’. It was with sarongs, but they would say ‘nangi ghuma rahi hai betiyon ko paise ke liye? Kya pride ki baat hai, mai to apne baccho ko maar dun, gala ghot doon (You are letting them roam around naked for the sake of money. I’d rather kill my kids, this is nothing to be proud of). But my mom told them ‘As long as her grades are not dropping, I am not stopping her’.”

Pooja said that the same relatives wanted her to talk to their acquaintances after she won the Miss India title. The only time her mother stopped her from anything was when she walked up to her, at the age of 18 and said she wanted to go for Miss India. “She said I could complete my graduation and then do whatever I wished. She told me that the cut-off age was 23 and I could prepare for three years and then apply at 22. ‘You think you can get up like this and go for Miss India just because you won a few local pageants? You are wrong.’ That was the only time she stopped me for anything. And, that was a blessing. I trained well, read up and prepared well for the pageant.