‘Mission Majnu’ movie review: Sidharth Malhotra is wasted in this witless spy thriller

Express News Service

At the end of this year, I plan on listing down some of the most patently ludicrous scenes from Bollywood 2023. Something tells me it will be rich pickings. I already have a contender: the climactic highpoint of Mission Majnu. 

Tariq, an Indian spy in Pakistan, is watching through tears as his pregnant wife boards a one-way flight to Dubai. In the nick of time, alerted officials storm the airport. They’ve got descriptions, and one of them spots Nasreen (Rashmika Mandanna). 

To distract them, Tariq – who’s earlier described as the best cadet in his batch, and who knows well that blowing one’s cover means certain death – climbs up on a chair and loudly chants, “Bharat Mata Ki Jai!” This scene tells you pretty much everything you need to know about Mission Majnu. Every time Shantanu Bagchi’s film – based on a real espionage operation from 1977 – runs out of wind, it resorts to silver-bullet nationalism and sentimentality as an escape route. 

This is apparent not only from the dialogue (“Our tricolour blows not in the wind but the dying breath of martyrs,” goes the somewhat overwrought final line) but also its use of music. ‘Maati Ko Maa Kehte Hain,’ a patriotic number voiced by Sonu Nigam and written by Manoj Muntashir, has the same treacly emotionality and imagery that marked Muntashir’s previous hit, the 2019 song ‘Teri Mitti’ from the film Kesari. 

We begin, expectedly, with a generic history lesson. The creation of Bangladesh in 1971 flags off a nuclear arms race between India and Pakistan. 

After India successfully tests its first nuclear bomb in Pokhran, Pakistan wants to do the same. 
They fly in scientists and build a secretive nuclear facility somewhere on the edges of Rawalpindi. To determine its exact location becomes the mission of Tariq Ali (Sidharth Malhotra), actually a RAW agent named Amandeep. 

He is disguised as a tailor, and, to further buttress his cover, marries visually-impaired customer Nasreen. Their love story is rushed over the course of a single song, as though the film does not want us to think hard about Tariq’s decisions. As he explains, “Whatever you do, be thorough with it.” Some advice, that.

Spy movies need not follow a set pattern or temperament. They can be slow (The Conversation, The Lives of Others), fast (The Man from U.N.C.L.E, Mission: Impossible – Fallout), moody (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Munich) or extravagant (take your pick). 

But one thing they must all unerringly be is smart. Mission Majnu fares miserably on that front. 
Tariq has a soft smile and an ingratiating manner that makes everyone he approaches spill the beans, from a small child to a military chief. You wouldn’t believe it, but one of his initial quests involves tracking down the owner of the singular western toilet in Rawalpindi. 

Inexplicably, Shantanu saves the cleverest detail for the last: the amazingly real-life story of Indian agents confirming the existence of the nuclear base by stealing hair samples from a barber shop. Despite its frequent appeals to national duty, Mission Majnu isn’t as crudely jingoistic as something like Bhuj: The Pride of India.  The film also does not comment on the moral implications of nuclear proliferation; for that you will have to see the pilot of Rocket Boys. I wanted to root for Tariq and Nasreen, a desire made difficult by Rashmika’s Beautiful Blind Girl hamming.  

Director: Shantanu Bagchi
Streaming on: Netflix
Cast: Sidharth Malhotra, Rashmika Mandanna, Kumud Mishra, Sharib Hashmi, Zakir Hussain, Parmeet Sethi 
Rating: 2/5

<br /> At the end of this year, I plan on listing down some of the most patently ludicrous scenes from Bollywood 2023. Something tells me it will be rich pickings. I already have a contender: the climactic highpoint of Mission Majnu. </p> <p>Tariq, an Indian spy in Pakistan, is watching through tears as his pregnant wife boards a one-way flight to Dubai. In the nick of time, alerted officials storm the airport. They’ve got descriptions, and one of them spots Nasreen (Rashmika Mandanna). </p> <p>To distract them, Tariq – who’s earlier described as the best cadet in his batch, and who knows well that blowing one’s cover means certain death – climbs up on a chair and loudly chants, “Bharat Mata Ki Jai!” This scene tells you pretty much everything you need to know about Mission Majnu. Every time Shantanu Bagchi’s film – based on a real espionage operation from 1977 – runs out of wind, it resorts to silver-bullet nationalism and sentimentality as an escape route. </p> <!-- WP QUADS Content Ad Plugin v. 2.0.85 --> <div class="quads-location quads-ad200503 " id="quads-ad200503" style="float:none;margin:0px 3px 3px 3px;padding:0px 0px 0px 0px;" data-lazydelay="0"> <!-- WP QUADS - Quick AdSense Reloaded v.2.0.85 Content AdSense async --> <ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:block;" data-ad-format="auto" data-ad-client="ca-pub-7550963679842137" data-ad-slot="1823845571"></ins> <script> (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});</script> <!-- end WP QUADS --> </div> <p>This is apparent not only from the dialogue (“Our tricolour blows not in the wind but the dying breath of martyrs,” goes the somewhat overwrought final line) but also its use of music. ‘Maati Ko Maa Kehte Hain,’ a patriotic number voiced by Sonu Nigam and written by Manoj Muntashir, has the same treacly emotionality and imagery that marked Muntashir’s previous hit, the 2019 song ‘Teri Mitti’ from the film Kesari. </p> <p>We begin, expectedly, with a generic history lesson. The creation of Bangladesh in 1971 flags off a nuclear arms race between India and Pakistan. </p> <p>After India successfully tests its first nuclear bomb in Pokhran, Pakistan wants to do the same. <br /> They fly in scientists and build a secretive nuclear facility somewhere on the edges of Rawalpindi. To determine its exact location becomes the mission of Tariq Ali (Sidharth Malhotra), actually a RAW agent named Amandeep. </p> <!-- WP QUADS Content Ad Plugin v. 2.0.85 --> <div class="quads-location quads-ad200503 " id="quads-ad200503" style="float:none;margin:0px 3px 3px 3px;padding:0px 0px 0px 0px;" data-lazydelay="0"> <!-- WP QUADS - Quick AdSense Reloaded v.2.0.85 Content AdSense async --> <ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:block;" data-ad-format="auto" data-ad-client="ca-pub-7550963679842137" data-ad-slot="1823845571"></ins> <script> (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});</script> <!-- end WP QUADS --> </div> <p>He is disguised as a tailor, and, to further buttress his cover, marries visually-impaired customer Nasreen. Their love story is rushed over the course of a single song, as though the film does not want us to think hard about Tariq’s decisions. As he explains, “Whatever you do, be thorough with it.” Some advice, that.</p> <p>Spy movies need not follow a set pattern or temperament. They can be slow (The Conversation, The Lives of Others), fast (The Man from U.N.C.L.E, Mission: Impossible – Fallout), moody (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Munich) or extravagant (take your pick). </p> <p>But one thing they must all unerringly be is smart. Mission Majnu fares miserably on that front. <br /> Tariq has a soft smile and an ingratiating manner that makes everyone he approaches spill the beans, from a small child to a military chief. You wouldn’t believe it, but one of his initial quests involves tracking down the owner of the singular western toilet in Rawalpindi. </p> <!-- WP QUADS Content Ad Plugin v. 2.0.85 --> <div class="quads-location quads-ad200503 " id="quads-ad200503" style="float:none;margin:0px 3px 3px 3px;padding:0px 0px 0px 0px;" data-lazydelay="0"> <!-- WP QUADS - Quick AdSense Reloaded v.2.0.85 Content AdSense async --> <ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:block;" data-ad-format="auto" data-ad-client="ca-pub-7550963679842137" data-ad-slot="1823845571"></ins> <script> (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});</script> <!-- end WP QUADS --> </div> <p>Inexplicably, Shantanu saves the cleverest detail for the last: the amazingly real-life story of Indian agents confirming the existence of the nuclear base by stealing hair samples from a barber shop. Despite its frequent appeals to national duty, Mission Majnu isn’t as crudely jingoistic as something like Bhuj: The Pride of India.  The film also does not comment on the moral implications of nuclear proliferation; for that you will have to see the pilot of Rocket Boys. I wanted to root for Tariq and Nasreen, a desire made difficult by Rashmika’s Beautiful Blind Girl hamming.  </p> <p>Director: Shantanu Bagchi<br /> Streaming on: Netflix<br /> Cast: Sidharth Malhotra, Rashmika Mandanna, Kumud Mishra, Sharib Hashmi, Zakir Hussain, Parmeet Sethi <br /> Rating: 2/5<br />