It is nice to see that men of my generation and younger are more physically intimate with one another and have a laissez-faire attitude towards gender fluidity. You want to kiss a guy, kiss a girl and then kiss another guy? No one cares.
Dating when you’re into both men and women can be an interesting proposition. I find men fun and,
while I can certainly appreciate their interest in instant gratification, I’ve yet to meet a man that I find as emotionally engaging as the women I’ve been in relationships with. I’m not saying I wouldn’t be open to enjoying a long-lasting, serious relationship with a man, but that “you give me all the emotional fulfilment I need; let’s build a future together” moment hasn’t happened for me as yet. That isn’t necessarily a true reflection of the gay dating world, it has just been my experience to date.
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In the grand scheme of things, I’ll probably end up building a life with a woman, but there would have to be a fair bit of flexibility within the relationship. I don’t mean I’m going to come in and say, “Well, we can share a life together, but I’m going to sleep with all these guys on the side,” but there needs to be plenty of healthy discussion, and a willingness to understand the complexities of human sexuality. Up until now, I’ve only ever had one relationship where my partner had an issue with the fact that I was also into dudes, but every other woman has found it hot. I tend to date queer women anyway, because they’re the coolest. So it’s definitely a win/win kind of situation.
If I were to give advice to others who are dating at the moment, I would say: look at humans on a case-by-case basis and consider the connection you have with them rather than focusing on a particular gender. If you’re a bloke and you happen to find yourself on the end of a dick, that doesn’t mean your whole life has to change. Just enjoy it for what it is.
Sam Bowden appears in the new season of The Swiping Game, available on SBS On Demand. You can also listen to Sam (along with fellow comedian, Aleks Milinkovic) on their podcast, Whoa, Free Lunch!?
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