Doctor Fact-Checks ‘The Simpsons’ Medical Scenes

In this video, Mikhail Varshavski, DO — who goes by “Dr. Mike” on social media — reacts to medical procedures seen on “The Simpsons.”

Following is a partial transcript of the video (note that errors are possible):

Homer’s doctor: Mr. Simpson, let me outline the gastric bypass surgery procedure for you, okay? We put the band around your stomach so that no solid food may enter.

Varshavski: Well, that’s not really a gastric bypass. That’s like a sleeve.

Homer’s doctor: You see, just like so.

Varshavski: I love that there was a cow and a pretzel.

Homer’s doctor: A very, very serious operation. You should only undergo it as a last resort.

Varshavski: Well, that’s absolutely true for a gastric bypass. They’re done laparoscopically now, which decreases healing time, complication rate, etc. But basically, you make the stomach into a really small pouch, reconnect the GI tract in a way where you decrease the amount of absorption of food.

But the interesting part about bariatric surgery and why we recommend it is it’s really the only form of lasting weight loss that we have really good evidence for. Other ways in which people lose weight, 5 to 10 years later doesn’t seem to be as effective — they seem to put that weight back on — but with bariatric surgery the results seem to hold in a decent amount of the cases.

Homer: Kids, your daddy underwent a special procedure so he can be more attractive to your mother.

Varshavski: Well, I hope you’re not doing it just to be more attractive. You’re doing it for all the health benefits.

Homer: Welcome home, Marge.

Marge: You remembered I like romance.

Homer: Do you like guys who are attractive?

Marge: Homey, you look good!

Homer: All for you, baby.

Varshavski: He looks like the mannequins in the men’s clothing stores that you think the suit fits perfectly, or the peacoat fits perfectly, and in the back they’re all pinned. They’ll never look like that on your body.

Marge: What are you hiding from me? Is it chocolate?

Homer: Uh, it used to be.

Marge: Whoa, those buns are popping fresh.

Varshavski: Wait, how did those things …? Oh, he pulled it to the front.

Homer: Doctor, I’m embarrassed to show my body to my wife, and it’s all because of your surgery.

Homer’s doctor: You want me to unstaple your stomach?

Varshavski: He pulled a staple remover out.

Homer: I want you to give me every other surgery you have so I can look good, and can you call it an aortic valve replacement so my insurance will cover it?

Homer’s doctor: No problem.

Varshavski: That’s insurance fraud.

Homer: Did someone order a super stud? Ooh, my implants feel itchy.

Homer’s doctor: Yes, I was out of silicone rubber, so I used rolled-up socks.

Mayor: He is a monster. Pitchforks, everyone!

Crowd: Monster!

Homer: You know, we’re laughing at this, but there has been this trend of individuals who have been injecting into their muscles synthol in order for themselves to look huge and they have been getting popular on TikTok. Recently, one of the biggest names who we have actually reacted to on this channel recently lost his life. Best wishes to his family.

Marge: Listen, Homer, I got to be honest with you.

Homer: You better not make me cry ’cause I don’t know where my tear ducts are anymore.

Marge: I appreciate you trying to become more attractive for me, but the truth is I’m way too successful for you now. I’m getting me a trophy husband.

[HOMER CRIES]

Varshavski: There are where his tear ducts went.

Bart and Milhouse: Sisters are doing it for themselves.

Homer: Hey, why is this door locked?

Bart: Oh no, it’s Dad.

Dr. Hibbert: Clear!

Varshavski: Okay. You don’t have to use defib paddles for a back injury. I hope that goes without saying.

Dr. Hibbert: Oh, it’s good for the batteries. Now I’m afraid your son has cracked his coccyx.

Varshavski: Based on the mechanism of injury, which is a big part of what we do in healthcare, we look at how the injury happened. In fact, on professional sports sidelines when you work as a team doctor, one of the doctors usually runs over to the replay booth to try to understand exactly how the injury occurred because that gives us the most amount of information about that injury.

With what I saw happened there, the fall on the bowling ball, it didn’t look like it could happen on the coccyx. The way we diagnose, obviously, one of these fractures is through an x-ray, but just general pain of the coccyx is called coccydynia, for you to know.

Marge: How long will he take to recover?

Varshavski: It will usually take weeks, sometimes even months, for the pain to fully go away, and the pain initially is terrible. You have to get one of those little donuts to take the pressure off the middle portion of your spine when you’re seated and really just sit on your ischial tuberosities.

Actually, a lot of patients start taking non-steroidal anti-inflammatories like Advil [ibuprofen] and Aleve [naproxen] when they get pain after a broken tailbone, but some evidence has actually shown that taking non-steroidal anti-inflammatories can lead to poor fracture healing. For my patients, I try Tylenol [acetaminophen]. If you need something stronger, tramadol is an option. If people really do request something stronger, I say a lidocaine patch. I love those.

Homer: I know CPR.

Varshavski: How about check his pulse?

Homer: That’s when you do chest compressions to a Bee Gees song.

Varshavski: Yeah!

Homer: ♪ How deep is your love ♪

Varshavski: But you should check if he’s alive first.

Homer: ♪ How deep is your love ♪

Lenny: Are you sure it wasn’t “Stayin’ Alive”?

Varshavski: Wrong song, bro.

Homer: ♪ I really need to learn ♪ ♪ ‘Cause we’re living in a ♪

Varshavski: Yeah, and his positioning is not great. You want to be on the side. You want to be doing it two inches deep.

Moe: ♪ Breaking us down ♪

Varshavski: See, if he is alive, you got to stop doing the chest compressions.

All: ♪ They all should let us be ♪

Varshavski: The purpose of doing the chest compressions is to circulate the blood because the heart has stopped. If a person is talking, their heart is beating.

Mike Varshavski, DO, is a board-certified family physician and social media influencer with more than 10 million subscribers.