Christmas is all about love and kindness. It’s also about money

“Children are very disappointed when clearly formulated hopes on the wish list are suddenly dashed,” says Stauss.

He also heartily backs in Potter Butler’s decision to re-wrap.

“The highlight of Christmas is the unwrapping of presents … even for the environmentally conscious. Always wrap Christmas presents,” he says. “[The] type of wrapping paper, care taken when wrapping, is also perceived and evaluated by the recipient.”

Other top tips?

Your thought does not count – actually think of the recipient first. It’s not how much you spend, it’s the emotional value of the gift. And don’t forget gifts are what Stauss calls “information media” – they say more about you than the recipient.

Surprises work! Particularly true if you can unexpectedly fill long-cherished but only casually expressed wishes, says Stauss.

Money’s too hard to mention. Sure, you can give your grandkids vouchers or money if you have neither time nor the patience to find out what they want. Both those items tell the recipient exactly what you think they are worth.

Which brings me to Stauss’s last and best point.

“To avoid feelings of favouritism or disadvantage, gift-giving rules must be observed, especially if — as is often the case at Christmas – presents are unwrapped in the presence of others.” So, treat your kids equally.

Jennifer Cruz-Tamayo, who has three sons aged 27, 25 and 16, has already decided to make accommodations for this tougher Christmas.

She will have a massive family event, but this year everyone will pitch in: plates of salad, dishes of meat, bottles of soft drink, alcohol. She works in financial services and says the cost of living has made her family take a hard look at their regular outgoings. Her home insurance, in a flood area in the Hawkesbury, has soared to $13,000 from $3000. It’s enough to make anyone take stock.

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Cruz-Tamayo says she and her closest friends all used to buy presents for each other and for their kids: 10 gifts in total. Now it’s one gift for each family. And in her own family?

“We’ve decided to stick to kids only. Once you are in a full-time job, you are not considered a kid any more.”

Lorraine Burchell has also made a Christmas pact this year. The nurse, who lives in the Hunter Valley, has made an undertaking: “I’m not spending money on plastic trash.”

She and her close circle have also agreed not to go berserk over Christmas.

“We have got better things to spend our money on,” she says. So this year it might be a slice or a little plant she’s potted up herself.

Or – and I’m very jealous here – it might be a bucket hat Burchell has made herself from a pattern she found on Instagram through Elbe Textiles. She tried a few prototypes last year and they were all big hits. Now, she’s planning six hats from start to finish between today and Christmas morning.

If she has time to spare, she will also run up a few zippered pouches. The only cost is her time and the fabric, which she’s gone upmarket with this year.

And if you have some items to spare, maybe — like Leif — send a package to the Youth Shoebox project for kids who are asylum-seekers or refugees. The organisation, Able2, based in the Blue Mountains, normally get to 450 shoeboxes a year but only have 100 so far.

“We always need more,” says Sue Campbell-Ross, who is one of the organisers, along with Jackie Mayers. “Giving has long-term benefits. People are learning to be kind.”

Stauss says we are creative when it comes to gift-giving in hard times – making, creating, sharing. But some of us still need more help than others. The plea of every single organisation I researched for this story – Smith Family, Benevolent Society, Vinnies, Salvation Army, Wayside Chapel – all needs more. How can you help?

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