Can we please stop all the negative talk about teenage girls?

Outside of this harsh reality, though, it was just me and Willow doing what mothers and babies do together – playing (us), singing (her), crying (me). The mundane became the best parts of our day and, as I focused only on her,

I found a joy in the now that trained me to be totally present with her and curious about her, so she could show me who she really was.

It became such an antidote to any worry about her future (which, of course, was still there in waves – I’m not a robot), it remains my mindfulness practice – and parenting philosophy – today. So now I’m resolved to approach these hard adolescent years the same. And no doubt they are hard. I am acutely aware that there are families for whom the teenage years are very distressing. This is not to diminish or dismiss those experiences.

Some teen girls are rude. Some girls are angry, but you don’t know what at. Some struggle with anxiety, others with depression, some with both. Some argue, some take risks. Some are loners and some party. Some hate their mothers, until magically one day they don’t any more.

But I believe all teenage girls are doing their best, and so are their parents. And in between the loneliness and confusion and desperate need to fit in, and the struggle to understand who they are becoming (truly, my heart bursts with empathy for our kids), our girls are interesting and kind and funny and courageous.

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I’m actually excited for Willow. This is a time of creative freedom, new discoveries and crazy adventure. A time for risk-taking and mistakes, for testing her limits and living large. A time of FIRSTS! I can’t remember the last first I had. It was probably my first grey hair, which I can’t say I celebrated.

Willow, on the other hand, can expect her first love, first heartbreak, first job, first tattoo, first tattoo removal. I want her to push boundaries, slam doors, scream and cry and let the emotional roller-coaster she’s desperately trying to ride spew out of her. To bathe in the entire world’s supply of moisturiser if she needs to. Whatever it takes to get through to the other side.

I feel so privileged to be here for her, to soften her landing when she falls. Because whether she’s at her best or worst or in between, to me it’s all exactly as it should be.

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