Who cares for carers? The importance of staying connected

“Many carers are juggling their work and caring for children, which is already more than a fulltime job.”

But by identifying yourself as a carer, you can start to slowly put support measures in place.

“Having support means that you are less likely to burn out — being responsible for someone’s wellbeing can be draining in a very different way to any other professional role,” Williams says.

“The mental load is a huge responsibility, and to carry it alone can be a huge burden for anyone.”

Start by reaching out to Carer Gateway, a free, national service for anyone who is a carer, no matter the level of your caring duties. The Benevolent Society is one of many service providers of Carer Gateway around Australia.

“It can give you access to services such as emergency respite, carer-directed support, peer support, counselling, facilitated coaching and a young carers program,” Williams says.

“We also have regular online workshops that can assist in your caring role, such as understanding the journey of grief, decluttering sessions, nutrition, health, yoga, meditation and art therapy.”

Connect with other carers

While no two carers’ experiences are the same, Williams says it’s incredible how much value there can be in talking with other people who “get it”.

“Many carers have the belief that nobody understands their plight or what they have to navigate. But while it’s true that someone who cares for their elderly mother who is suffering dementia experiences [caring] differently to someone who cares for their partner, there are commonalities in their caring roles,” she says.

“The right support can mean a world of difference to someone who is feeling isolated and less connected to their community due to the nature of their caring role.”

Joining local peer support groups, such as those offered through The Benevolent Society, can be a great way to find like-minded people who have walked a similar path.

“Peer support groups provide a safe space for carers to exchange inspirational stories and share information for carers who are overwhelmed with their caring role and need support,” Williams says.

“It’s also a great way for carers to make connections and friendships with other carers and support staff who are trained [to have] those difficult conversations that can be awkward to discuss with other people who are not in a caring role. We also try to make sure some fun is thrown in to give carers a moment to focus on themselves and what they need to keep filling their own cups.”

Set tiny “me time” goals

If your schedule is stacked, taking time for self-care might seem impossible, but Williams says carers need to remember that your mental and physical health is also in the best interests of the person you care for.

“In order for the caring role to be sustainable, looking after oneself is a necessity because if the carer falls or has an accident, who will care for the person you care for?” she asks.

That’s why Williams suggests starting small.

“Schedule a few things a week that will help you recalibrate energy,” she suggests.

“It could be drinking a morning tea or coffee uninterrupted for 10 minutes in the morning, then work up to scheduling a call with a friend every week for 20 minutes. For some carers, meeting up in person is also a possibility and as time goes by, this could even increase to a few times a week with different loved ones to stay connected to.”

Put these personal “appointments” in the calendar to help your household understand that they are non-negotiable.

“If it’s not scheduled, it may never happen,” Williams says.

“It also teaches family and others that this is sacred time to re-energise. It’s a good opportunity to teach boundaries through leading by example.”

Contact Carer Gateway at 1800 422 737 to discuss your individual circumstances and how they can help you. Carer Gateway is an Australian Government initiative providing support for those who care for a family member, friend or loved one living with disability, long-term medical condition, mental illness, alcohol or drug dependency or someone who is frail due to age. The Benevolent Society is a Carer Gateway service provider in metropolitan Sydney (excluding South-Western Sydney and Nepean).