‘What are you, a spy?’: When academic Kylie Moore-Gilbert met comedian Sami Shah

Academic Kylie Moore-Gilbert, 35, spent two years imprisoned in Iran on trumped-up espionage charges. Her partner, Sami Shah, 44, is a comedian and journalism lecturer. They live in Melbourne and are expecting a baby.

Sami: Part of me wishes we had a cooler story. I’d like to say I met Kylie when I busted into the jail in Iran and freed her. But we met on a dating app, Hinge. My profile picture was me dressed as Muammar Gaddafi, the Libyan dictator. I’d played him in a comedy sketch. Kylie’s profile was vague: a woman in the distance on a sand dune. She called herself Kay. When we met in a cafe, I was like, “My god, this woman is beautiful.” I had no idea who she was.

She said she was an academic and her field was Middle Eastern studies. I made what I thought was a very funny joke. I said, “Academic? Middle Eastern studies? What are you, a spy?” Not realising she’d just spent two years in prison accused of spying.

I wasn’t in a happy state myself. My second marriage, which was a complete disaster, had just ended in a really bad divorce. I wasn’t interested in commitment in any way. But after that first date with Kylie, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. There was something familiar about her, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. A few days later, I saw her picture in a news article and I was like, “I am an idiot.” All I could think about was my joke. I sent her a long message, apologising. She said, “No, it’s fine.”

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Kylie has huge generosity of spirit and an optimism which I find really inspiring. I read The Uncaged Sky, her book about her imprisonment, when she finished writing the first draft. It was hard for me. I’d try not to cry because I’d get angry and upset about what she went through. This is a person who is several leagues above me in her knowledge and understanding of the world, and her wisdom. Very early on, she came secretly to one of my comedy shows and sat at the back. I like to think that if I hadn’t been funny, I never would have seen her again. I do make her laugh, I hope. She makes me laugh a lot. The public persona is Kylie Moore-Gilbert: academic, intellectual, a very serious person. But my Kylie is also silly and goofy. I get both sides of her.

Most of the things she’s into are things that frighten me. She loves travelling. She loves scuba diving. She loves camping. I don’t understand camping. I love being at home, reading a book. But I like the fact that she challenges me. It’s exciting to be with someone you’re always playing catch-up with.

‘The public persona is Kylie Moore-Gilbert: academic, intellectual, a very serious person. But my Kylie is also silly and goofy. I get both sides of her.’

I can’t say having a baby has brought us closer because we were already very close. It hasn’t changed our love for each other. Initially, I was scared. Kylie said, “I want to have a kid,” and I was like, I don’t know. I already have one. My daughter, Anya, is 13. I thought, OK, either I say no, I don’t want a kid, and we break up, or I think about the idea. I realised I’d always wanted to have two children. And that Kylie was the only person I would want to have a kid with. We will raise a child well together, I think.