We held a family gathering at a retirement village. A week later, Dad received his ban

If you are considering the transition to a retirement village, but you are also a grandparent, find out how high your village scores on the family-fun-o-meter first.

You have seen the ads on TV. You may have even seen a glossy brochure. All the silver foxes, ageing gracefully, smiling at each other while they clink glasses or enjoy a game of bowls. Retirement villages promise everything you hoped for in your twilight years – fun, a beautiful environment and community. It’s tempting, even though you are going to need to sell the family home to afford this.

My father built his family home, his “castle”, about 55 years ago. In its time the house had been host to hundreds of family functions. The equivalent of a “pool room” had been built out the back to cater for our growing family as the number of grandchildren increased. But all halcyon days must come to an end: Dad had lost his driver’s licence and mum’s health needs were increasing. They both needed support.

So, just over a year ago, my brother and I accompanied our parents on a tour of a retirement village. One of the key attractions was the shared space – an enormous building with a huge dining and lounge area, a games room, surrounded by manicured gardens, a barbecue, pool, lawn bowls, and tennis court. But the icing on the cake, and just what we were looking for, was being told that the dining, lounge and outside areas were available to be used for family gatherings. Mum and Dad would have a small unit, but we would still be able to gather with them in this beautiful, shared space. The grandchildren of the residents enjoyed the pool, the salesperson assured us. It was indeed spectacular: sparkling, heated and surrounded by palm trees. Resort worthy.

What could go wrong? Fun times lay ahead.

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We encouraged Dad and Mum to go ahead with the purchase, and thus the sale of their house.

As the months passed by, Mum became wheelchair-bound and moved into the adjacent nursing home. But occasional family gatherings were still possible because of the shared spaces. The strata fees were exorbitant, but worth it.

Fast-forward to Easter 2023, I wheeled my mother into the barbecue area, and joined 28 family members for lunch, a swim, and an egg hunt in the surrounding garden. As if that wasn’t wholesome enough, afterwards, when we headed into the lounge area for coffee, a few of the teenage grandchildren, who had recently been learning swing dancing, played some Frank Sinatra hits and other golden oldies on their little Bluetooth speaker while demonstrating some of their moves for their grandparents. A few residents walked past as this was happening. Lucky them, I thought, getting to share in the joy of some good old-fashioned fun.