OK, I tease, I tease. I have absolutely zero stakes in the matter. As a naturally indolent dad, I’ve dealt with the looming threat of having my weekends soaked up by taxi time by letting my kids choose from a restricted menu of weekend activities within three kilometres and ideally, walking distance.
Yes, that’s probably stopped my poppets from achieving glittering heights in anything other than gymnastics (300 metres away), bike riding (out the front door, or the nearby velodrome if super keen), and pottery (anything’s a sport if you get competitive about it).
I decided to let my kids choose weekend activities within three kilometres and ideally, walking distance.Credit:Vince Caligiuri
But just run the numbers, people. You want your child to be the best in netball? The sport 1.2 million Australians play regularly? The best? I’m sorry to dash your hopes. If it helps, pretend it’s a lottery. Which it is, I guess, in a genetic sense.
Look, I’m not opposed to Uber’s reinvention of the wheel. “Get this: it’s an Uber – with car seats for kids.” After all, taxis can already ferry your children solo and without car seats if you’re feeling secure and trusting. Children can – unbelievably – legally take the bus to school (I know). What I am opposed to is everyone spending their weekends moving children around, regardless of who’s driving.
If your kid loves doing sport, sure. But if it’s for their future, just stop moving. Take a breath. Let them experience the joy of deep, boring time doing sweet FA.
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“I’m bored dad” – have you tried reverse engineering the iPad? Did you know you can find a four-leaf clover if you look hard enough? Good luck for life. I wouldn’t lie to you. Would I? By the way, you know that kid down the street? She’s been doing pottery at home. She’s getting good. Her dad told me she’s going to enter a few competitions. Might even win. Can’t let that happen unchallenged, can we buddy?
And if you absolutely must do something improving for them, teach them how to pitch to the new breed of AI tech bros. “OK so, it’s an artificially intelligent chatbot – as a friend replacement!” See? Much easier.
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