The breastfeeding hierarchy of motherhood needs to end

In a few days, my social media feed will be ‘milk-washed’ for World Breastfeeding Week —overflowing with perfectly curated images of mothers, likely in a meadow, maybe wearing a flower crown. They’re lovingly cradling their little nurslings, who gaze up adoringly at them as they fill their tummies with mother’s milk.

It is a lovely image, and I’m all for celebrating a successful breastfeeding ‘journey’, as it’s now invariably termed. But what these images gloss over is the under acknowledged — and damaging —flipside.

Mothers who cannot, or chose not to breastfeed are ‘less than’. They are bad mothers, and they have failed their duty to their child. This message is not solely confined to high-horse Insta influencers. It is routine from health professionals from the moment a positive pregnancy test appears. And for some new mothers, it’s a message that has the potential to cause lasting, and even lethal, harm. I know this because I have survived breastfeeding grief and postnatal depression when I couldn’t breastfeed my firstborn.

As I now approach 10 months of exclusively breastfeeding my third baby, I’m realising that I am far from alone.

When breastfeeding fails, many vulnerable and chronically sleep-deprived mothers feel like a failure too. Australia’s maternal mental health records speak volumes of the need to do more to support mothers and babies in every respect, including feeding.

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Tragically, suicide is among the top three leading causes of maternal death in the postnatal period, according to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. The Black Dog Institute claims that around one in five Australian mothers experience perinatal depression or anxiety, and studies have shown that breastfeeding cessation is a risk factor for these conditions. Conversely, extended breastfeeding has been linked to lower rates of anxiety and depression.

Breastfeeding is the benchmark from which we are conditioned to define ourselves as mothers. Even the word ‘Mamma’ itself is derived from the Latin word for mammal, mamma, meaning breast. Yet, for something touted as the most natural thing in the world, an increasing number of women in high-income nations are shunning breastfeeding.