Sarah Wilson: ‘I don’t get courtship, I’ve never wanted gifts’

Is there anything better than sex? Food. And hiking.

DEATH

I feel a lot of your work – especially the more personal aspects – is informed by the inevitability of death. Where does that come from? It’s no big secret: I’ve had close brushes with suicide, and that takes you to that place. But all of it makes me aware of the preciousness of life. It forces you to get off the conveyor belt of life and go, “Holy shit. This is gonna come to an end, so let’s max this.” Let’s live.

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In those suicidal periods, what helped? How do you emerge from a darkness that feels overwhelming? I see the purpose in it. That was a big part of First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: to realise that the beast is a beautiful thing. It exists for a reason. When you’re in the darkness, you’re on a threshold. Something is happening. One of the main things I do is what I call soul-nerding. I go and read the creative works of incredible people who have felt the same way; who have felt that existential pain and created something beautiful. Writers such as Virginia Woolf, Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus. Lots of poets. I spend time in nature – camping or hiking – just to settle. Nature sorts it out for me.

You’re known for I Quit Sugar. Now you’re part of a campaign called “I Quit Gas” – a partnership with the Climate Council. How much of that work is informed by an anxiety about the death of nature, and our capacity to live in it? Ultimately, the planet will survive. It’s people that are up for question. What motivates me doing these campaigns is that I don’t want anyone to wake up and go, “I didn’t do enough when I could have.” That’s going to be the ultimate pain-point for humans: regret, when it’s too late. Big financial institutions, superannuation companies, they’re all divesting, getting out of coal and gas. There is no future in them. Renewable energy prices are coming down. It’s about communicating these things so that nobody gets left behind.

What’s left to do before you die? What’s on the list? More love.

RELIGION

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When you started I Quit Sugar, a lot of people were like, “Is this a cult?” Do you feel vindicated by the mainstream health directive to limit sugar intake? Oh, I could do a bit of a “I told you so”. But as [German philosopher Arthur] Schopenhauer said: First, [the truth] is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

What’s your relationship to sugar nowadays? Pretty much the same as it was when I was running the business and writing the books. I eat a bit of it. If there’s dessert and I’m out with friends, I’ll eat it. I don’t really love it; I often have to recalibrate just like everybody else. But I’ll never drink fruit juice. I’ll never drink liquid sugar. I choose my poison in the right formats.

You write about “spiritual PTSD” with everything that’s happening: COVID, climate collapse, economic collapse, political collapse. What’s the fix? Richard Tedeschi, an expert on PTSD and trauma, points out some estimates say 70 per cent of trauma results in growth, so I do think there’s an opportunity. More broadly, I’d say turning any kind of anxiety and trauma into activism has psychologically proven to be the ultimate fix. Going into the foetal position is the worst thing you can do: we’ve gotta keep processing the anxiety. Turns out activism is great for that.

Lifeline: 13 11 14; Beyond Blue.

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