Quitter’s remorse: How to deal with doubt after starting a new job

So many people have left jobs over the past two years, that this fact is hardly news anymore. According to data from Employ Inc.’s 2022 Job Seeker Nation Report, 30% of workers are ditching new jobs within the first 90 days of employment for several reasons:

• 41% said the day-to-day role was not as expected
• 35% reported an incident or bad experience
• 34% said the company culture was not as expected

Whatever the reason, as these job changers adjust to new positions, many might be having quitter’s remorse. What can someone do if they’ve recently started a new job and are wondering if making the switch was the right thing to do?

Here is some advice from two career experts I reached out to.

And you should create it before you resign from your current position, according to Corey Berkey, senior vice president of people and talent at Employ Inc.

“Make sure you keep your strong relationships with colleagues in good standing,” Berkey says. “That way, if you go and that new grass isn’t so green, you may have a recourse to return if you’re so inclined.”

Do this before you decide to resign. Berkey asks, “Was it a cultural mismatch? Does the current position include components not initially advertised in the job description? Identify the challenges and see if there’s a path to reconcile with your current employer. If so, start there. If not, learn from the experience and do the proper research during the next job search to ensure history doesn’t repeat itself.”

It’s important to consider if the quitter’s remorse is just a passing response to the challenges of starting a new job, or whether it’s indicative of a wrong decision, says Paul Lewis, chief customer officer of the job search engine Adzuna.

“It’s normal to feel uncomfortable in a new working environment, and it can take a few months to get to know the ways of working there, get to know your new colleagues and adjust to a different commute or working hours and generally to the new role,” Lewis says. “This can often lead to feelings of discomfort, or can break down your confidence — but that shouldn’t be confused with being in the wrong job. Getting out of your comfort zone and challenging yourself is a great way to climb the career ladder, learn new skills and become successful in the career you want.”

“This means getting enough sleep, taking time for yourself to exercise and get fresh air, and spending time with friends and loved ones,” Lewis says. “Discussing your doubts and concerns about a new role with a friend or family member who is neutral to the situation and who knows you well can be a good way to evaluate if you’ve made the wrong decision, or if it deserves more time.”

Consider why you left your old company, and why you joined the new one, Lewis suggests. “Compare salaries, perks, progression opportunities and day-to-day responsibilities and whether you enjoy them,” he says.

“Is there an opportunity to rejoin your old company in a different role, or in a different context — for example, in a remote rather than in-office role? Or would the reasons you left still be a problem if you were to return? Consider like for like logically and systematically to weigh the pros and cons at both workplaces.”

“Where would you like to be three or five years from now, and how can each company help you get there? Putting the short-term decision in the longer-term context can be a gamechanger,” Lewis says.

“Rejoining an old employer doesn’t have to be awkward,” Lewis says. “Many companies are very open to bringing back previous employees — also referred to as boomerang employees — because they know their work ethic and the value they can bring to the team, they know how well they will assimilate with the culture and onboarding will be very minimal.”

Berkey adds this caveat: “If you choose to explore a return to your former employer, you need to commit to coming back,” he stresses. “Coming back to only bridge the gap until you find your next new employer isn’t a good career move and will sacrifice those strong relationships.”

“That means leaving a good handover, thanking those who have made a difference to you through your tenure and being prepared to help with any job-related questions that may come through as you leave,” Lewis says.

“It’s also the time to make sure you’re connected on LinkedIn so you can keep on top of future opportunities within the company or in those where your colleagues end up; you never know, they may be working at a company you apply to in the future and can be a great reference point,” he says.

Once you’ve dealt with quitter’s remorse, the goal, of course, is to avoid ever having it again. As Berkey concludes, “You should treat your career path carefully and respectfully. When you commit to an employer, make sure you see yourself going all in and thriving before making the next jump in your professional journey.”

Kathleen Furore is a Chicago-based writer and editor who has covered business-related topics for a variety of publications. You can email her your career questions at [email protected].