Marriage isn’t easy, but it shouldn’t be this hard

Now, I’m not suggesting that long-term couples should never fight, or that there aren’t peaks and troughs in a marriage. I am suggesting, however, that no-one should have to endure 10 years of disliking their partner, or to live with another person when they would prefer to be alone. Why should they? We don’t live in the 19th century. We no longer need to marry for property or for status or to raise children. What is the point of marriage in our modern world other than to bring us comfort and joy?

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We shouldn’t be normalising how challenging and difficult marriage can be. We are conditioning a generation of women to accept a life of low-key misery, and honestly, they deserve better. Instead, we should be normalising how fulfilling marriage should be. We should be normalising the right to be happy in our relationships, and the right to walk away when one or both partners are miserable or unfulfilled.

Now, it’s not up to me to decide whether any particular married woman would be better off single. I do think, however, that if you can’t stand your husband for a full decade, you should probably think about leaving. If you fantasise relentlessly about living alone, you probably should. And if you’re prepared to tell the entire world that your partner is no longer hot, then maybe, just maybe, he should walk away from you.

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