Kate is wasting her time princessing – she should be an athlete

If you’re lucky enough to have seen photos of that time Prince William did yoga in white jeans, you’ll know the man has got the moves. He’s strong and flexible. Yet the glorious memory of William’s plank with half twist counted for nothing when he was taken down by a more powerful physical force – his wife.

Visiting a leisure centre this week, the Waleses were lured onto spin bikes for a 45 second race. In heels and a skirt, Kate brained William. The video is terrific. It shows her, legs pistoning, coolly trying a couple of times to turn up her bike’s resistance while William almost blows a foofer valve. “Oh my God,” he says in the dying stages.

Kate scored a gold cup and nobody would be surprised if, somewhere at the family pile, she has a dedicated trophy room like Shooter McGavin’s to put it in. From tennis (played with Emma Raducanu) to yachting, abseiling, scuba diving, ping pong, hockey, soccer, running, roller skating, she’s seriously athletic.

Thanks to her senior royal role, the Princess of Wales is sentenced to spend much of her future professional life being hailed for her way with a coat dress, making chit-chat with dignitaries at state dinners, opening day care centres. Signs are her KPIs are going to be strong, but it all seems like a bit of a waste.

Is she living the wrong life? Kate may be someone who would be happier as a phys ed teacher or personal trainer. She’s just been sidetracked by princessing.

From the time he was 15, my husband drummed in a band with mates from school. They played on and off for decades in various incarnations – Dirty Ashtrays, Shaggy DAs, Bridgetown – then Chris quit for good in 2008. A couple of weeks ago, he had a call. The original band was getting back together. One night only. Was he in?

In our decade together it’s been a sore point that I’ve only seen him on the kit once, a lounge room show during a 2020 lockdown Saturday night. Yes, he was in.

Apart from a mad dash to buy drumsticks, Chris was supernaturally calm. He sort of laughed at the suggestion he practise in the garage: “I don’t need to practise.” He was right. On stage with Jim, Foges and Dunny at the Hunt Club Hotel in Merrijig last Saturday night, Chris smashed out Wipeout, Happy Man, Route 66 like he was born to it.