Is preferring water to cheap wine pretentious?

When I go to somebody else’s house for dinner and they serve cheap, ordinary wine, I’d much rather drink water, so pretend I’m having an alcohol-free week. Am I a wine snob?
A.E., Rose Bay, NSW

Sadly, the words “wine” and “snob” seem to just go together. But there’s a fine line between snobbery and discrimination. Snobbery: bad. Discrimination: good. There are some people who will drink anything that has the word “wine” on its label, and there are others who are more, shall we say, selective. In my book, they’re not snobs unless they carry on about their superior taste, boring other people to tears at dinner parties.

If I choose to go to my local Italian trattoria for dinner, where they prepare wholesome food every day from fresh ingredients, in preference to McDonald’s, am I a food snob? Only if I berate others for frequenting the Golden Arches or self-aggrandise with tales of the decadent meals I’ve enjoyed in three-hatted restaurants.

There’s only so much alcohol a person can consume in a lifetime without coming unstuck, so you can’t afford to waste tummy space on bad wine. As Len Evans, the wine judge, writer and promoter of Australian wines used to remind us, every time you drink a bad bottle of wine it’s like smashing a good one against a brick wall, because you’ve wasted one of your finite number of opportunities to savour something special.

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There’s a saying that a boy becomes a man when he walks around a puddle instead of through it, and something similar applies to alcohol. When we reach an age where we realise we aren’t indestructible after all and understand that too much alcohol is seriously bad for our health, we start to practise discernment: “Yes, another splash of that Moss Wood cabernet, thanks.” But, absent the Moss Wood, “No, I’m happy with plain water, thanks.”

Or alternatively, “I only drink sparkling Italian mineral water, thanks.” Now that sounds suspiciously like snobbery.

Got a drinks question for Huon Hooke?
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