I went to Paris for my first solo holiday since becoming a parent. It was life changing

For those of us who haven’t had the kids, partner or career we dreamed of watch the sliding doors close, trying to make peace with our choices and ourselves. There is an overall sense of life being relentless while at the same time becoming smaller as our future possibilities narrow. And many of us are left wondering: is this it?

Being back in Paris reminded me of the recklessness and fearlessness with which I lived my 20s. If one door closed, another opened. The stakes didn’t feel as high in the absence of substantial responsibilities.

Before you knew it, you were flying by the Seine on the back of a motorbike, gripping a Frenchman who smelled of leather and cigarettes.

I luxuriated in experiences, going for long bike rides through the Palais-Royal Gardens, having drinks all evening in the local bar and enjoying long dinners in our apartment, where people from all over the world gathered. “Having a coffee” meant extended catch-ups by the Canal Saint-Martin or people-watching in the Marais, dissecting pain au chocolat and my latest French theatre school and love-affair failures. “Shopping” involved trawling the vintage shops or markets of Montreuil, hoping to snag that perfect €10 second-hand frock. “Dating” was simply meeting someone at a party or with friends; before you knew it, you were flying by the Seine on the back of a motorbike, gripping a Frenchman who smelled of leather and cigarettes.

While life looks different these days, and those moments and chances are few and far between, the flipside is that it is more satisfying and rewarding, and nothing is taken for granted.

Loading

On my return to Paris last year, I loved being immersed in a dark theatre and a supper with an old friend from clown school. I revelled in the cinematic light on a balcony with my French famille, marvelling at the bright yellow moon on a pink satin sky above the chimneys. I hung on my French tweenage goddaughter’s every word. I drank in each experience (and glass of Pouilly-Fumé), savouring every second (and drop). I devoured each sliver of cheese or mouthful of croissant. I walked the streets gazing at the Juliette balconies and Haussmann buildings in delight. Because life has taught me that all we really have are these fleeting moments, and if we don’t stay awake for them, we miss the great joy of our lives.

To my fellow Gen X women: I know we have a whole lotta life left in us. I know we can juggle things. But I can’t recommend enough taking a moment just for you. Going to a place that lights you up, reminds you of who you were when you had the world at your feet.

I did, and I plan on taking that version of me with me for the rest of my days. Because, no – this is not it. We are not done. In fact, filled with appreciation for every little moment we have, which only age and wisdom provide, we are just beginning.

Rachael Coopes is the author of Paris for Beginners (Affirm Press), out April 26.

Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with our Live Well newsletter. Get it in your inbox every Monday.