Emily and Mark got pregnant after a one-night-stand. Now they’re happily married

Ask yourself the question, “What is love?” and there’s a good chance, once you’ve listed the fun stuff, you’ll arrive at the word “sacrifice”.

“Following your heart for love can mean sacrifice, from small things like eating your partner’s preferred takeaway to much bigger sacrifices such as moving to a different country,” says clinical psychologist Helen Robertson. “Sacrifices demonstrate our care for our partner and can even make us feel good about ourselves.”

There’s plenty you can do to show your partner how much you love them – and it’s not just the big gestures, as showcased by the couples below, that count. Robertson says such actions as making your partner a cup of tea, respecting their opinion and making decisions together are the “small links in the larger chain of lifelong love”.

“I chose my husband over old family ties”

Emily Anderson, 35, a business owner, and Mark Anderson, 41, a sales rep, became a couple after a one-night stand led to pregnancy. They married in 2012.

“I’d just come out of a two-year relationship when I met Mark in a Darwin nightclub in 2008 and ended up going home with him. It was an unusual move for me, but there was something about Mark that seemed right; he felt like someone I could trust. He took my number the following morning but I didn’t really think I’d stumbled onto anything life-changing – until I discovered I was pregnant.

I knew almost straight away that I wanted to keep the baby, but Mark was in shock and needed another week or two to gather his thoughts. The more we got together to talk about the baby and what his or her future would look like, the more Mark and I realised we enjoyed hanging out together.

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As the months rolled by and my belly grew, we became a couple. My father, who I lived with at the time, was less than thrilled about Mark being in my life. I moved out of Dad’s house and into Mark’s before the birth of our son. Dad didn’t talk to me again for at least a year after that.

Mark and I were married in a registry office in 2012, and like any other couple we’ve weathered our ups and downs. The first few years of parenthood were tough – we were broke, still getting to know each other and didn’t really know what we were doing.

We’re doing babyhood all over again now [the couple’s second child is two], but this time we’re different people.

So much about marriage and partnership is about love and commitment, but it’s also about making sacrifices and putting your partner first. When I decided to start my skincare business, Emily Luise Skin, Mark was, and continues to be, behind me 110 per cent. He liquidated his own company to help fund mine, and even sold his dream car, which had taken him years to pay off, to raise capital in order to help my career flourish. In turn, I – after years of his difficult behaviour – cut my father out of our lives, choosing Mark and our family’s happiness over traditions and bloodlines.

Our love story might not have started in the most traditional way, but we’re still crazy about each other.”

“I converted to Judaism before we got married”

Jo Saunders, 48, converted to Orthodox Judaism once her relationship with Jeremy Saunders, 53, became serious. They’ve been married for 25 years.

“Jeremy and I met through a dating agency in 1992 – a time when you were shown a hardcover book of photos and matched according to your interests.

I was only 18 at the time and enjoyed meeting people so I agreed to meet him. As it turned out, we were complete opposites; I was into clubbing and Jeremy was into pubs and bands, and he was confident and I was shy, but I could see right away that he was considerate, kind and gentle. We fell for each other hard and fast.

I didn’t know Jeremy was Jewish until I was invited to a Friday night family dinner. Once our relationship became serious, his parents asked if I would consider converting to Judaism and shared how important it was to them.

Initially I was quite upset and annoyed at Jeremy for pursuing a relationship with me, but after three months of deep thinking I knew there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do in order to create a life with him. I loved the values his family represented and enjoyed community connection, so I wanted to be a part of something I could feel connected
to. By the time I said yes, I wasn’t doing it for anyone other than myself.

Initially, my parents and friends struggled with my decision but navigating that was simple compared with what the conversion entailed. Converting to Judaism is like doing a degree; it took me three years and within that time I had weekly lessons with the rabbi’s wife to learn about traditions. And – in the spirit of ‘in for a penny, in for a pound’ – I went to night classes at TAFE to learn Hebrew. At times the process was disheartening – I was rejected twice before I was accepted – but Jeremy was incredibly supportive. I received my conversion certificate in 1997 and we married six months later.

The first decade or so of our marriage was traditional in the sense that we focused on raising a family but now the children are older [they are 23, 21 and 16] and we have more time for each other, we go out of our way to make things fun. We’ve done a stand-up comedy program together, completed triathlons and obstacle courses, cycled 3½ hours to go skydiving then cycled home, and we love visiting op shops together. I make Jeremy join me in trying on the most ridiculous outfits we can find so we can laugh at each other. Life’s too short to not have fun with the one you love.”

“I moved my whole life across the globe”

A few weeks into her holiday, British national Julie Telford fell in love with Asher Telford. The couple, now 41 and 44 respectively, have been married since 2010.

“I left my home in Hull, northern England, in 2004 believing I would travel around Australia and then return to settle into adult life; I certainly didn’t expect it to be essentially a one-way ticket.

Three weeks into my trip, I met Asher, a skipper on a tourist boat called Tongarra in Airlie Beach, and it was that ‘love at first sight’ moment you see in the movies. I thought he was ridiculously good-looking, funny and adventurous. We made eyes at each other the whole day and pretty soon we were joined at the hip. We moved in together right away and the holiday I’d planned was long forgotten.

Ash made it clear from the start that he never wanted to live anywhere else, so a move to England was out of the question. I didn’t mind – I loved Australia from the get-go and I was crazy about Ash – but walking away from my life was difficult to get my head around at first.

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Obtaining a visa as Ash’s de facto was a nightmare but moving across the globe for someone also puts your relationship under pressure. I was homesick and felt torn between wanting to be with my family and being with the love of my life. Of course sometimes I couldn’t help but wonder, ‘What if, after all of this, we don’t work out?’

Telling my parents I wasn’t ever coming back home was hard. They were worried it was a fling and that we wouldn’t work out but after Dad flew out, saw where I was living and met Ash for himself, he changed his tune. He said I’d be crazy to ever leave Australia – or Ash. We married in 2010 and today we’re the parents of three boys, aged 10, eight and four.

Close to 20 years on, there’s no doubt in my mind that the move was worth it. A year after we married, we bought Tongarra and became business partners. Now, with young children and multiple businesses [the couple run three tour companies] we’re obviously at a different stage of our lives. Our goal is to return to the ‘young love’ period when our children are a little older.

I don’t know that any relationship is perfect every day, but no matter what’s happening, Ash still makes me laugh and laugh. He’s a fantastic father and a brilliant businessman, but I’m proudest to be able to say he’s still my best friend.”

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