Dia Mirza on birthday gratitude: ‘Leaving home, knowing Avyaan is well taken care of is the biggest thing for me’

Dia Mirza who turns 41, is having a time of her life surrounded by her husband Vaibhav Rekhi, son Avyaan Azaad Rekhi, their stepdaughter Samaira. On her birthday, she tells Hindustan Times exclusively how fast 2020 went by and shares insightful deets from her personal life.

With your birthday right around the corner and 2022 coming to an end, how do you feel, sitting and chatting with us when you look back at this year?

Dia Mirza (laughs): I am just amazed at how fast children grow. My son is bigger now, and my daughter is too. So much about them has changed. Looking back there’s so much gratitude for opportunities that help makes a difference. Being able to leave home, knowing my baby is well taken care of while I am away, that’s actually been the biggest thing for me. Every night I say my gratitude and the first thing that comes to my mind is, I am just grateful for all the help that I get to do all the work that I do.

Your worries as a mom are quite understandable. Have you felt bad about feeling Avyaan at home?

Dia: Yes, I feel bad. I miss my children when I am at work. Especially when I was filming Dhak Dhak. I needed to be away for an extended period of time. The climate and conditions weren’t ideal to travel with my child. I felt very helpless. I missed him terribly and felt guilty. Every day I was just counting the days to get back home.

Mom guilt is so common, and no one bothers asking men about dad guilt. What are you thoughts on it? Has it ever happened to you?

Dia: I agree, it’s a guilt that we assign to women and not men. This is because as mothers, we are primary caregivers. Fathers are capable of doing the same thing but there are certain things that they can’t do. Having said that, I was secure because, to my knowledge, my mom and husband were hands-on. He (Avyaan) was in good care. They kept him healthy, safe and happy. It‘s all that matters.

So, is there anything that you have crossed from the bucket list before turning 41?

Dia: I learnt how to ride a bike. It was forever on a bucket list. When the script of Dhak Dhak came, I read one line and I was like ‘I am doing it.’ Because I knew, it will liberate me from one more fear and allow me to experience something I could have never done to myself. I am abundantly grateful. A lot of my fears and hesitations dissolved after this. The first thing to riding a bike is to shed all fears completely and embrace them.

Also read: Dia Mirza shares emotional post on son Avyaan’s first birthday

So, how was mom life treating you so far? How was this year different as Avyaan is now one year old?

Dia: He is growing up so fast. He was such a tiny thing last year. It’s crazy how it can happen. It’s a life-altering, and the best thing in the world, just magical. I’m having so much fun with him.

Avyaan has now started walking and speaking. What is he up to nowadays?

Dia: Avyaan communicates so effectively. He is so curious and dances. He hums along with songs. It’s very natural. Now when we take him to the garden, he shows me what I used to show him when he was younger. If he spots a bird, he would look in that direction, point and say ‘birdie.’ He actually listens, it’s so interesting. I think all children have these qualities, it’s fascinating to witness them in real life.

Children imbibe qualities from their parents. Has there been anything that you and Vaibhav might have picked up from Avyaan or Samaira?

Dia: There’s a lot to learn from our children. Our children are our best teachers. I have always believed that all life on earth comes with knowledge. A flower is not taught how to bloom. I think humans are also born with the same wisdom. It’s so wonderful to see the life force working in a child. Just let them be and see where they go on their own. I am actually constantly stopping myself from telling my son what to do.

I believe Avyaan knows when he had enough. There’s so much of “kha lo, ek aur bite, last bite, inke liye, unke liye, chanda k liye.” There’s so much forcing and coercing feeding, that’s the worst thing to do to a child. When a child is done, they stop and you have to respect that. There are a lot of little things you learn about. Your children will lead the way.

Yesterday Avyaan was holding a piece of Lego alphabet L and walking around. My husband looks at him and tells him ‘Avyaan, L’. He turned around and told him ‘M’. He was like ‘What the hell is happening? This 16-month-old knows what comes after L.” We haven’t sat down and taught him.

This is unbelievable. Please continue…

Dia: We give him space. He just plays and sings. He discovers numbers, colours and the alphabet as he plays along. He has got figurines of animals given by one of his aunties, who had them when she was a child. It was passed on to Avyaan. We started telling him which animal is what when he was 6 months old. Now he knows all. He couldn’t recognise them in the first two months, but now he pulls out the box and tells us which one is which.

On the film front, Dia Mirza is in a happy space with the kind of films in the pipeline. She will be next seen in Dhak Dhak and Bheed.