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Detachment in domesticity: True householder leads family life externally, sannyasi’s life internally

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Children, being a householder is no obstacle to spiritual practices. A householder can certainly attain self-realisation. However, actions must be done selflessly and without attachment, and dedicated to god. A true householder will have the awareness that whatever he has belongs to god and that nothing is his. He performs every action with the understanding that god is his mother, father and friend. However, this self-sacrifice and surrender do not arise so easily. One needs to strive constantly.

We must be able to discharge our duties to the best of our abilities. Those who run away from life are not suited for spiritual life. That is why, in the Bhagavat Gita, Lord Krishna did not permit Arjuna to run away from the battlefield. Life is a battleground. We can never turn our backs on it. Perhaps, we might flee to the Himalayas, a solitary forest or an ashram (monastery). But life’s problems will follow us there.

Therefore, an intelligent person lives with discrimination. He pays due attention to his daily duties. The best way to live is to lay a strong spiritual foundation in our life. We must not forget that compassion to the poor is our duty towards god. Spiritual inquiry begins when we render selfless service to the world.

If we close our eyes in meditation in the expectation that a third eye will open, we will be disappointed. We can never save ourselves by closing our eyes to the world. Sadhana (spiritual practice) is striving to see oneness in everything while looking at the world with open eyes. Self-realisation is nothing other than the state wherein this vision of unity becomes natural.

Death can approach us at any time. It will snatch everything away from us. Therefore, through spiritual disciplines, we should strive to cultivate dispassion towards everything. In this way, we can confront even death fearlessly and without sorrow. The ideal of sannyasa (monasticism)—in other words, total detachment—has not caught on in the West. Sannyasis (ordained monks) dedicate their inner and outer lives to the well-being of the world.

A true householder leads a family life externally and a sannyasi’s life internally. We might not be able to renounce everything, but we must strive to make our minds peaceful. A householder’s mind is beset by problems, but attaining inner peace is not impossible. Most of the ancient gurus in India were householders. They, too, were ordinary human beings. If they could do it, we can, too. That power is within us, too.

A householder ought to be like a bird perched on a dry twig. The bird knows that the twig may snap at any time. It is always ready to take off. Worldly relations are ephemeral. They can come to an end at any time. We should have firm faith that god has temporarily entrusted us with all the duties that come our way. We must learn to work without the sense of doership, like a true volunteer. We must discharge our duties in the world. But it must turn into a sadhana; we must work with a worshipful attitude. However, we should not become attached to it. We should remain centred on the self. That is the centre-point of our existence. At present, we are imprisoned, as it were.

The prison is not our home. We should not consider the objects that we like and are attached to as ornaments; they are chains that shackle us. We can never understand what real freedom is until we realise the self.

The writer is a world-renowned spiritual leader and humanitarian

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