Cara Delevingne: ‘Growing up queer was isolating’

Chloe was probably the most rebellious of us as a teenager. She was the moodiest – there were a lot of slamming doors, parties she shouldn’t have had. Modelling was a scary world. [Poppy was discovered by the Storm agency at 15.] I remember years of travelling around the UK with trainers, high heels and a handbag. I didn’t get jobs for ages. I remember my dad saying, “Persevere, darling – it will happen.” I was a gawky girl, and not attractive in my eyes.

Cara’s career was very different – she did one or two castings and that was it. It was stratospheric. She’s a supermodel. It has never been competitive between us. I think the six-year age gap saved us, as we’ve never been pitted against each other. My life might look glamorous on Instagram if I’m doing the red carpet, or on a film set, but it’s work. I don’t post much personal stuff because I want to keep what’s mine, mine. Cara can’t walk through an airport or supermarket without getting noticed.

Cara’s pretty good at handling it. She has her head screwed on. I don’t feel suffocated [by fame] in any way, whereas for Cara it’s a big part of her life and I feel very protective of her. I’m protective of Chloe, too.

We’ve always wanted to do something together, so we set up our own brand of prosecco [Della Vite] in 2020. I’m involved in the creative process, Chloe is great at doing interviews for it, and Cara is the businesswoman. It’s a lot of fun. We’re still mischievous, especially when we get together. We’re also a terrific team.

CARA

There is no doubt in my mind that my sisters would be my best friends even if we weren’t related. Poppy can walk into any room and light it up with her ability to make every single person feel loved. And Chloe brings knowledge and joy to every situation she walks into.

We all have a competitive nature but only in fun and games, which we learnt from our father. We love to win but we’re also good losers – and as the youngest, I was always used to losing. I saw my sisters as the epitome of the woman I wanted to be. I soon realised that I couldn’t be the same – all of us have different paths – but they showed me the most fundamental things that I had to learn in life. My father taught me how to be ambitious, never to give up and to love without condition. My mother taught me that to pick yourself up when you are down is the most important part of falling.

“I love the word “naughty”, but only as an adult. To me, naughty means someone who questions what they’re told. I think at this point I might be the naughtiest of the three of us.”

Growing up as a queer child was isolating and hard to navigate at times. [Cara identifies as pansexual, meaning she is attracted to all genders, and has previously dated musician St Vincent, aka Annie Clark, and actor Ashley Benson.] My sisters did their best to be there for me, but it was something I had to go through myself to truly know who I was.

When I had my first modelling job at the age of 10 I wasn’t aware of what I was doing, or the fashion and artistry that I now understand and cherish. With any job or path there’s always a way to make some sort of change.

First and foremost, I have always seen myself as a rebel, not as someone who wants to break rules but as someone who wants to question them. I love the word “naughty”, but only as an adult. To me, naughty means someone who questions what they’re told. I think at this point I might be the naughtiest of the three of us.

As a model I always felt like I was acting. I was constantly trying to fit a mould. But with acting I’ve been able to understand and navigate my own relationship with emotions. [Cara’s credits include the TV series Carnival Row and the films Suicide Squad, Anna Karenina and Tulip Fever.]

CHLOE

I still get excited if I see Cara on the cover of a magazine, however many years it has been. I’m so proud of Cara and Poppy because living your life in the limelight isn’t always easy. I’m shy and get all stuttery, whereas they put themselves out there. I’m in awe of what they do but it’s not for me. It makes me nervous just thinking about it.

I’m calm and fiercely loving. I’d drop anything to fly across the world to rescue them, much to my husband’s annoyance. [Chloe is married to Edward Grant, a property developer.] He’s like, “You’ve got children!” But I’m not the bossiest. The one who speaks their mind most directly is Poppy. We tend to call Cara “Mini Yoda” because, if there’s a disagreement, she therapises us and puts us all straight.

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Poppy and I were more competitive with each other when we were younger, but only over silly things, like who’d be at the front if we were doing a Spice Girls routine. We’d get Cara involved but I didn’t spend much time with her growing up because of the age gap. You don’t have in-depth conversations with a six-year-old when you’re 14. I think I was the toughest teen out of the three of us. I’d be getting caught breaking curfew and went to my first nightclub when I was 15, that kind of thing.

I was aware that we were privileged growing up, but we never took it for granted. I didn’t like the idea of being spoilt and nothing was ever assumed. I must have been about 13 when Mum sat me down to tell me she was bipolar. But I was always aware of it. And her [drug] addiction when she was younger took a toll on her body, so she had physical illnesses to deal with.

There hasn’t been a single second in our mother’s life when she hasn’t been completely in love with us. But there were some quite critical times when we almost had to say goodbye to her and that made me feel very protective of my sisters.

I’ve always been academic. I studied for a degree in biomedical science and tumour biology and I’m now studying to be a midwife. I’ve always been interested in female sexual health. [Chloe co-founded the Lady Garden Foundation, which raises funds for and awareness of gynaecological cancers.] Guiding a mother through childbirth, which can be terrifying, will be such an honour. I can’t wait to catch babies.

“Sometimes, shy people need a bit of exuberance in their life to get them out of their comfort zone. If all three of us had been exuberant there would have been more friction.”

I’ve been impressed by my sisters’ work ethic since working with them on our prosecco. Creating something from an idea to a company has been exciting.

The girls have more close friends than I do. I’m quite happy being more quiet. And living in Oxfordshire, I don’t get invited to parties in London, but whenever Poppy and Cara are in town they’ll always include me. Sometimes, shy people need a bit of exuberance in their life to get them out of their comfort zone. If all three of us had been exuberant there would have been more friction.