Children, while facing difficult situations in life, rarely try to find out the real cause of the difficulties. But unless we do so, we will not be able to find a permanent solution to these problems. For example, if a child starts crying because of hunger, the mother will try to appease him by giving him toys. The child may get distracted for a while. But when his hunger pangs increase, he will start wailing even more loudly. He will stop crying only when his hunger is appeased.
Some people turn to drugs and drink to forget their problems. Not only do these intoxicants not solve any problem, they also ruin one’s health and wealth, and rupture family ties. Once, two friends were talking to each other. One of them asked the other, “I heard you started drinking. Why?” His friend replied, “I’m facing many problems now and am trying to drown my sorrows in drink.”
“So, did you succeed in drowning your sorrows?”
“No, my friend. My problems have learnt to swim in the alcohol!”
The root cause of all our problems is our headstrong desire to have everything go our way, according to our likes and dislikes. This wilfulness is the source of all our negativities like anger, hatred and jealousy. Wilfulness is like a computer virus that wipes out all its data. It undermines our sense of discernment and destroys our peace of mind. We lose control over ourselves.
We cannot change the world according to our whims and fancies. Instead, we must learn to adjust to the situation and respond discerningly. We must learn to accept what we cannot change. A fragrant rose is surrounded by prickly thorns. To insist that a rose bush should have no thorns, but only flowers is impractical. Night always follows day.
If there is joy, there will be sorrow. We must accept both. A tortoise can never behave like an elephant. Similarly, an elephant can never be a tortoise. See each for what it is. Do not leap for the skies in happiness, and do not collapse in sorrow. Remain content and joyful under any situation. The ability to do so is what we mean by maturity.
Suppose you need some money and are thinking about asking a friend for help. You know that he may give you the money, but on the other hand, chances are that he won’t. If he feels generous and decides to help, you could get more than you expected, but he could also turn his back and even pretend he doesn’t know you.
So anything is possible. If you are aware of all these possibilities beforehand, you won’t feel overly surprised or disappointed. If he should happen to give you more than you expected, you won’t feel overjoyed, nor will you go to pieces if he doesn’t care to even look at you.
The mind becomes mature only when one stops being wilful. A mature mind can face problems wisely. It is the ultimate solution to all the problems in life.
The writer is a world-renowned spiritual leader and humanitarian
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