A friend asked for a $12k loan for breast implants. Would I be a boob to say yes?

A friend I chat with at preschool drop-off asked me for a loan of $12,000. She explained that she needs breast implants because “motherhood has taken a toll and it will improve my quality of life. If it was any other medical procedure, you’d give it to me.” The timing of her request correlates with an upcoming trip to Bali. What should I do?
H.L., Warragul, Vic

A: I can’t believe you’re even considering this. I mean, sure, maybe you’d loan money to a super-close long-term friend, but this is a preschool drop-off friend. Just someone you bump into on weekday mornings and chat to about bed-wetting and the latest gastro outbreak and how your kid is having trouble with the tricky “L, M, N, O, P” bit in The Alphabet Song and whether you need to hire a tutor.

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Another thing: 12 grand is a lot of cash to give anyone for anything – I’m not sure I’d even hand that over as a ransom for my own kidnapped mother. I’d probably hem and haw and wind up setting up a GoFundMe. On top of that, vanity-motivated boob enhancements can’t be compared to serious medical procedures: one saves people’s lives, the other gets you a brand-new pair of huge, weird, pointy knees on either side of your ribcage.

Last of all, if this friend can afford a trip to Bali, I reckon she can afford her own breast implants. It’s like lending a friend 12 grand to get mouth-widening surgery so they can fly to Copenhagen to get through the 18-course menu at Noma.

So tell your friend sorry, you don’t have that kind of money, but you’re more than happy to lend her a 50+ sunscreen and a big sun hat to protect her new pair of hard, shiny, bald grandpa-heads when she’s sun-baking on Jimbaran Beach.

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