Is it time to rethink workwear?

“Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes,” said Henry David Thoreau, but then the guy is most famous for living in a cottage in the woods by himself, so he would say that.

I, on the other hand, was facing a jam-packed week of real-life meetings, so decided I needed to cast off my tracksuit pants and buy some real-life outfits.

At the mall on a Sunday afternoon, it was apparent that everyone was there for the same reason. COVID-19 numbers have fallen, employers are tapping their watches and their feet, and a return to commutes and sad desk lunches is not just inevitable, but imminent.

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Shoppers had a glazed, crazed look in their eyes, darting from shop to shop, searching for items which might conceivably look professional or, failing that, okay. “People are looking for pants that fit them,” is how one retail worker at a reliably daggy boutique summed up the vibe. She had nodded with whatever the opposite of shock is when I had asked her to pull out every trouser style in stock in a wide variety of sizes.

Unfortunately, my impression is that designers of mass-market clothing are as rusty as the rest of us on what constitutes work-appropriate ensembles. In one store known for its conservative cardigan aesthetic, the theme seemed to have been inspired by Big Bird: head-to-toe yellow. In another, every one of the rather drab dresses was incongruously shot through with gold thread. This look would, I suppose, suit a disco queen in a clerical role who didn’t want to change before work.

Perhaps my gripes with workwear are as outmoded as the concept of a rigid nine-to-five schedule.

Most of the bigger chains seem to have abandoned office workers altogether. In a global retailer of Spanish provenance, from whence most of my pre-COVID wardrobe came, tweed and poplin had given way to evening gowns with strange cut-outs and cargo pants made of denim.

Another problem is that climate change appears to have caught much of the fashion industry by surprise. It’s the beginning of autumn in the northern hemisphere, but even as some shops were flogging chunky knits and wool tailoring, outside was more suited to singlet tops.