Ask Amy: Mother mourns the grandchildren she won’t have
Dear Sad: Your son “James” might not be a lonely aging bachelor, but a man who has enjoyed a variety of romantic relationships of varying durations, which is the norm for him.
I think it is a mistake to define “the fullness of life” as one that must contain one’s own children — or any children — even though this has been your experience.
But because you define the fullness of life this way, you are quite understandably disappointed and even mourning the fact that your life is a little less full than you had hoped.
A Pew Research Center survey from 2021 finds that “a rising share of U.S. adults who are not already parents say they are unlikely to ever have children, and their reasons range from just not wanting to have kids to concerns about climate change and the environment.”
Your sadness over not having grandchildren will be shared by many other prospective grandparents.
Unless your son demonstrates that his life is unfulfilled and empty, you should not misplace your concerns.
You seem to be satisfied with the choices you’ve made in life, and your decision to keep your life full is healthy and commendable.
In addition to the animals you foster, I hope you can find ways to bring children into your life. Look into a Foster Grandparent Program in your community, and see if you are able to extend this special kind of love and connection to a young child.
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