Gehraiyaan: Childhood trauma to infidelity, here what psychotherapists have to say about Deepika Padukone starrer

Deepika Padukone’s Gehraiyaan has set the ball rolling for discussions on childhood trauma and how it can affect relationships in the present. The plot throws insight on how people deal with ups and downs in their life affects the kind of relationship they form with their partner. It also deals with infidelity at its core and critics have called the Sakun Batra directorial for glamorizing ‘cheating’.

Conversations on unfaithfulness, infidelity and its representations were rekindled among the audiences. What could be done when such an incident disarrays one belief system to the core?

While people react based on their personal experiences and values, professionals like psychotherapists, psychologists in conversation with ANI give a more sensitized approach to the issue.

Sushmita Roy, Senior Counselor and Psychotherapist, Medall Mind, drawing experience from her patients said the infidelity received in a relationship can be a self-confidence breaker, pushing a person to depression and increased stress. One even starts blaming themselves and asks questions like ‘Did I invest in the wrong person?’ Both the person inflicting the pain and the one on the receiving end suffer from this.

Roy thinks films by big banners like ‘Gehraiyaan’ should deal with the issue more sensitively and mindfully. Characters who take up such roles and have the capacity to influence thousands of minds, Roy said, should be more mindful and should not end up leaving the wrong message for generations to come. Glamourising such issues can cause confusion in people, she said.

Dr Jyoti Kapoor, Senior Consultant – Psychiatry, Paras Hospitals, Gurugram finds infidelity can be emotional, financial, cyber pr combined as well. In such a case one should terminate the relationship instead of choosing to be broken. If something is not working out, one should have the courage to confront and come out of it and let the partner know about their expectations, she opined.

Broken marriages are better than bad marriages, Dr Kapoor as in a bad marriage, nothing really works in your favour, there is psychological stress, children are affected and there is trauma every day. Infidelity, she said, has lasting effects like behaviour changes, deteriorating mental health conditions, chronic depression, anxiety etc.

Gaining back trust is important, else a person will always stay suspicious and socially excluded and then can have psychological concerns. Trust issues can come in the way of having fulfilling relationships in future or even loving your own self, Dr Roy said.

To heal and restore trust when one cannot do it by themselves, one should visit a therapist who can go inwards and solve your issues. Opt for breathing exercises, yoga, get quality sleep and nutritious food and have gratitude for small things in life she advised.

As for the person who has cheated and can’t stop feeling guilty, Dr Roy’s advice is to not be too harsh on yourself.  Try to forgive yourself and express remorse to your partner with open communication. “Brutal honesty’ she said, is necessary at this stage. To set things straight again the couple needs to forgive oneself and each other, accept what happened and look forward to a new beginning. A therapist can help to achieve that, she said.